Yep

It's been a while, I know and most of you probably won't even check this anymore because it as been a long time since I wrote anything. I just haven't felt like it, what's the point in writing anything because it is always the same? Anyway, I had a really scary dream where one of my best friends tried to kill me with a knife. It wasn't so much her actions that were scary though, it was her sing-song voice and methodic way of looking around the house for me, and now I am having trouble going back to sleep. Thus, I am wide awake.

I have been lame lately. I've barely seen anyone since I have been back. I don't know what's wrong with me. Brett made me chili once, and Teetz and I went to Red Lobster a couple days ago, but other than that I have been hiding pretty much. I don't know what I have been hiding from, but I get up, go to work, come home, do nothing, and go to sleep. Then I do it all again the next day. I don't know if I just don't have the energy for people or what. it's sad. It doesn't help that campus is buzzing again with activity. Last year at this time I'd helped Drake move in, we were unpacking all his stuff and making door decs and getting all that settled. It's amazing how one person's whole personality can change so much that you don't even recognize them anymore. It's also sad.

Anyway, whatever. I'm still alive, people have stopped calling me right now because they realize how lame I am being, and I am sorry. I will at some point just have to get out of this funk and rejoin the land of the living. I'm not even sure what brought it on, it's not even anything Drake-related, I was done with being sad about him the day I realized just how spiteful he could be. I never knew he had that in him, which in all honesty, he's not the one who even has any right to be spiteful, but oh well. Every day I am reminded that the Drake that I cared about at one time doesn't even exist anymore because that Drake wouldn't have done what he did. The Drake he is now is not one who needs to my time or attention. It's sad that I have had to come to that conclusion, and it's sad that he couldn't mean what he said when he said it in May.

But whatever. I need to try to go back to sleep, I have a long day at work, though I am off tomorrow. My friend Jake is in town for his cousin's wedding that's going on tonight and he's leaving tomorrow so hopefully I will at least get to see him for five minutes or so. I haven't seen him since high school; after we graduated his parents ended up moving back to Iowa, which is where they lived before moving to Rosemount, so even on breaks and stuff from college we never got to see him. But hopefully at some point, even if it's just breakfast or something.

Anyway, that's all. Stop reading now, I have nothing else to say at the moment.